this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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