R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
