Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I want her autograph on my taint
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
