Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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