you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
