Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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