Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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