FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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