I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
