You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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