weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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