your thong is hanging out like whoa
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
