Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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