hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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