but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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