You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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