I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
the liver wants what the liver wants
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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