Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize