So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
