Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
