dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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