I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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