You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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