Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
