shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
found the other keg... it's in the tree
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize