As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
