How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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