I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
