we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
