if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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