In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
