You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize