kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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