It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
