Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
