have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
