MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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