I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
