all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
