do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
