My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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