btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i dont even know how to be here
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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