Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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