I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
