My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize