Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize