We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
