Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I supernannyed him into submission
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
