I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
