whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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