i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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