Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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