Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
