youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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