he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize